Listen up people. I've already killed Ben Wing and Martin Buchholz and I'm holding Jareth Hein, Stephen Turnbull and a dozen lovelies from the Philippines who work in the Kabukicho section of Shinjuku hostage. I have a fully loaded AK-47[1] and I'm not afraid to use it. My demands are as follows: To everyone on xemacs-review, you are fired. I made a mistake creating the review board in the first place. I'm in command now. I want 100 million yen left in the locker numbered 23 outside of JR Shinjuku station. Please also put the source code to InfoDock with the money. I will release the hostages if the executive board of Sumitomo Bank are delivered handcuffed and horse-whipped to replace them. I want safe passage to Manilla. Please await further instructions after the money is delivered. Happy April 1st people, but don't take too long, O.K.? Let's all hope no one else gets hurt. Footnotes: [1] As was eloquently stated in the movie _Jackie Brown_, "when you absolutely, positively have to kill every m***** f***** in the room, accept no substitutes."